'Hard feelings. These are what they call hard feelings of love.' - Lorde
#1. This Will Never Stop Hurting
The problem with heartbreak is that it is both physically and emotionally painful.
Physical because crying literally hurts. Sore nose, puffy eyes and little sleep. And then there is the emotional pain that is much more subtle but a million times harder.
Worst of all? It cannot be drowned in alcohol, drugs, sleep or pain medication.
The only real antidote for any sort of emotional pain is self-care, self-love and facing hard emotions. Sitting with ourselves and understanding why it hurts and then writing it down. Every. Single. Big. Small. All. Consuming. Emotion. Getting it out of our head and taking a breath. Then ultimately? Time heals. The word 'human' in the Arabic language is 'Insaan', its root? The phrase 'to forget'. I love that. Our ability to forget can certainly seem like a curse but in heartbreak, it is definitely a blessing.
The truth? With time, the pain dulls, eventually fading away.
#2. I Will Never Meet Someone Else AKA #foreveralone
This is a common rhetoric because whether you broke up with them or they broke up with you, heartbreak feels permanent. Thoughts like "how can I ever love someone more?" and "everyone is going to break my heart anyways" are spirals. False spirals.
The truth? There are over seven and a half billion people on this planet and statistically, the chances of you not meeting someone are low. Unless you actually want to be single, which is fantastic too.
#3. I Am Unlovable
There is something about heartbreak that makes us feel crappy and naturally we start to pick ourselves apart. For me?
I told myself that I was too much, and not tall, blonde, blue-eyed. Obviously, both these things mean I am unlovable, right?
Only months later did I realise that this was ridiculous.
The truth? There will be someone among the billions that finds your insecurities endearing and loves you either because or in spite of them.
#4. This Was All My Fault
With time, emotions dull until the blessing and curse of hindsight sets in. If at that stage you would like to identify your weaknesses and make a conscious effort not to bring them into your next relationship I think that's fantastic. After all, heartbreak is just another form of failure that we can come back from. Stronger.
For example, my weakness are definitely communication and confrontation.
But while it's fresh, my advice is to leave it and not beat yourself up because there are always two sides to every story.
The truth? Yes, you may have done some crappy things but you know what? They probably did too. Or yes, they may have done some crappy things but you probably did too. It's okay, that's life and all we can do is be better.
- It will stop hurting - time heals all wounds
- There are billions of people on the planet, being forever alone is statistically unlikely
- If there are people out there that are in love with roller coasters, someone will love my crooked nose
- It is no one's fault - we can all do better